The Trauma of Grief & Loss… “Damn COVID-19”
When thinking of trauma and loss one may think of death by suicide, homicide or a fatal accident, just to name a few. Now, trauma is associated with death in a new way. Trauma is best understood as an emotionally disturbing event. This event can be emotional, physical, social and/or spiritual. I have seen COVID-19 related losses cause great emotional distress on families due to being denied access to the dying loved one to maintain safety. The dying person may or may not have had COVID but due to the pandemic, visiting restrictions prevented families from visiting their dying loved one. Working with hospice it became common to deal with those infected with COVID-19 and having to support the family as they made the decision for hospice. However, compounding the issue of choosing hospice was the trauma associated with not being able to be with the loved one as they died. Moreover, if more than one family member/friend was dying at the same time as multiple people could be infected at once leading to them all being in the hospital at the same time. Dying a “good death” when diagnosed with COVID-19 was extremely difficult if not impossible due to the dying person being separated from their family. Instead, the family dealt with the heart wrenching trauma of being denied access to their loved one due to COVID restrictions. This experience can cause trauma and complicate the grieving process which is already extremely painful. I had similar situations happen to me personally where I was denied access to my father when he was dying as well as my grandmother. Each of these experiences allowed me a closer and more compassionate understanding of the suffering and possible trauma and complicated grief issues individuals and families may experience when denied access to the dying.
If you or a loved one are experiencing trauma and/or complicated grief associated with a death, please reach out for help. I am here to support you with this very painful life event and help move toward healing.
